Dear vaishu:

You wrote about your real life experience: “I trusted wholeheartedly (your ex boyfriend)… he was cheating on me… betrayed… I never had actual good friends before this year. I have been cheated by few of my so called best friends…And I have this feeling of being hated by people around me… My parents aren’t friendly…I don’t trust anyone at the school either… Few of the so called best friends I made this year started avoiding me.”

About your virtual life experience you wrote: “I’ve never met them in my real life. I swear, they are far more kind and friendly and straight forward than the people outside my world… More friendly. More understanding. Less judgmental. And yeah. They are my comfort zone.”

You wrote that your new friends, in real life, didn’t give you a straight answer when you asked why they avoid you. Your virtual friends are straightforward with you. People in your real life criticize you for your rap and calligraphy skills. But when you “ended up showing my hidden skills to the hallucinations and my virtual friends”, they “were more open to me and they don’t insult and make fun of me or irritate me or let me down”.

My understanding: an ex boyfriend cheated on you, betrayed your trust in him. A classmate, after a physically intimate interaction, broke up with you. Best friends betrayed you and avoid you. Your parents aren’t friendly with you. You lost trust.

You are creative, in your rapping and calligraphy, correct? It is your very creativity that led to the creation of these 4- 5 people in your life, virtual friends.

You need people in hour life who will be friendly toward you, who will be trustworthy, understanding, not judgmental, not critical. You don’t have such people in your life. No wonder you created such people.

Only these virtual friends are not enough. They provide you comfort but you are still unhappy. You are unhappy because you live in your virtual, made up world only part of the time. The rest of the time you live in the real world, interacting with your parents, classmates, teachers.

I believe that you need one person, in real life, who will be these things for you: understanding, accepting, not critical, not judgmental. I may be such a person. You don’t see me, but I am not made up. I am a real person typing these words.

Better, way better to have such a person in your physical life, someone present right there. I suggested that you see a counselor in school, or a teacher. Is there one, just one person in school, a teacher or a counselor who may be these things that you need him/ her to be, for you?

anita