Dear Andrea Carolina:

You wrote: “They tell me that even if someone wanted to be with me they would be rejected so out of fear” they don’t ask you out, that reads to me what people say to make the listener feel better. A suggestion of what will be convenient to think, not what is true. And as you experienced already, you suspect that indeed this is not true. Your experience does not support this … nice thought.

It is difficult for us to see ourselves from the outside, other than looking in the mirror or in a video. How do we come across to others? I have seen young women who are pretty… after all, I was one, who are not asked out because they don’t look men/ people in the eyes, avoiding eye contact. It can be a poor body posture that communicates lack of confidence, body language that communicates fear.

The information you need is available. If you ask people, they may tell you. Not what is nice to think, but their true thoughts. Ask  in such a way that will encourage them to tell you their true perception, what they believe is true.

I hope you post again.

anita