Dear Charlotte:

What you are saying is that in the context of the office you have two jobs, one for which you are paid and the other is a volunteer job. Job title: on-the-go-counselor for Sam. Specifically, being a place for her to “dump (her) emotions”.

What I would do is quit the second job, the volunteer job. It takes away from your paid job, for one. You don’t get paid for it, second. And third, it is unpleasant to serve as a dumping place for one’s distress.

I will tell Sam: I don’t want us to talk about personal stuff in the office anymore.

If you want Sam as a friend, add: we can talk after office hours, outside the office, if you want. If you don’t want Sam as a friend, don’t add the latter.

What do you think of my suggestion?

anita