Anita- just addressing your question about how does he react when I am honest. Mainly he listens, but if he feels he is ‘right’ then no listening occurs. He will say things to put me down e.g. about attractive people where he works, about my weight, my lack of ambition in his eyes, how much money I spend. In some ways it feels like I am living with a disapproving parent still. A fairly common thing is I will make a tea and pudding (he doesn’t really cook) and he will say something like well it’s edible or it’s okay but you should of done x, y and z. Nothing is ever good. It always need improvement and so sometimes when I have tried my best on something I don’t want to share it with him as he either criticises me or doesn’t say anything much. He is on my side, but he doesn’t often express his feelings.