Dear Missxm:

I wasn’t aware that you currently are in a relationship, are you? If you are and you are mistreating a man, and you cannot yet control your behavior, then better exit the relationship immediately and stay away from relationships until you are able to control your behavior.

The focus of therapy should be just that, to control your behavior so you are no longer abusive to another. To control your behavior it takes learning emotional regulation skills, so to not be overwhelmed by your emotions and therefore to not react automatically in the abusive ways you have in the past.

My therapist in the past started with introducing to me guided meditations and the concept of Mindfulness, in the emotional regulation aim.

Insight into the origin of problems is very important and necessary for healing, but first focus, again, is to not abuse another. This is your responsibility to see to it and I hope the focus of therapy, at this pint.

Has your therapist introduce to you the emotional regulation concept, not necessarily using this term?

I also wonder about your present relationship with your father as it may still be fueling your anger..?

anita