Hey guys! This is my first time posting in a forum on Tiny Buddha. I’m currently in therapy to better understand my relationship anxiety, and it’s helping me oh so much! I am a child of alcoholism, meaning I grew up in an extremely volatile alcoholic home with little room to share my voice, and always being made to feel small. My therapist has helped me realize this, which is where I believe my anxious thoughts about my boyfriend’s past stem from. To give some background information, I’m 22 and he’s 25. He was in a 4-year relationship that was on and off from about 17 to 21/22. I’ve only been in one 1 year long relationship from when I was 18 to 19, with some dating here and there. This caused me anxiety in the beginning because I felt like if he could be in a relationship for so long, and I haven’t yet, then he’s going to leave me for her. This was such an insecure and anxious thought, and my therapist said that I should be worried if he’s NEVER been in a relationship at 25 years old! Because I grew up in an insecure household, was bullied in school, and never loved myself, I give my anxiety too much power and that has trickled over into me never wanting to be with someone…..until I met him. Since I embarked on a journey of self-love and discovery back in December, I have been able to sort out my anxious thoughts with rational ones. The one thing I struggle with is that sometimes, we will be having a great day, and he’ll laugh a certain way or sing me a song, and this random thought pops in my head that says “…wow, I wonder if his ex-girlfriend looked at him like this and loved his laugh too.” I’ve learned to try and breath deep into my heart space when these thoughts come up and understand how irrational they are. He is WITH me for a reason. He tells me every day how that relationship was his first, and he was so young that it wasn’t a serious one where both parties were devoted to fostering a healthy relationship. We tell each other how we’ve never felt this way before about anyone else. I have every reason to feel secure, but I falter sometimes. I’m looking to see if anyone else feels this way or can shed some lights on this thought that pops up!