Home→Forums→Relationships→Ex or New Guy?
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Anonymous.
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April 4, 2018 at 10:05 am #200839
Confused801ParticipantI was with my ex for 5 years and we’ve had a lot of fun together and would take trips together and I imagined a future with him. We broke up because he wanted to move elsewhere and I felt a long distance relationship wouldn’t work due to communication issues. He said he doesn’t have to move anymore if it means being with me, but I think I will always feel guilty about holding him back and I fear he may resent me in the future. I also feel he (who is 22) is not ready to settle down and get married and I am ready for that already (I’m 24). I also felt at the end of the relationship that he was comfortable and didn’t try as hard with the relationship, the housework, or showing affection and I brought it up to him previously as well, but changes weren’t made.
I rebounded with a new guy (who is 26). He is sweet and I could see a future with him. We have great connection and similar values. He is thoughtful and caring and I can tell he cares about me and I care about him too. He shows me affection, believes in marriage, and I feel is more mature than my ex. A problem is I am not over my ex yet.
I am so worried about making the wrong decision so I haven’t made one yet. I feel if I only had one guy in the picture I would pick him easily, but now I think I should make a decision, because I have been getting frequent headaches and I’m not happy worrying about this. I don’t know if I should give my ex another chance or work it out with the new guy or just be single.
April 4, 2018 at 10:45 am #200853
AnonymousGuestDear Confused801:
Your previous thread was on the same topic, same situation. In it I suggested single. Another member suggested the new guy. Clearly none of these suggestions helped your confusion (if you read the responses there). This leads me to think that your confusion is not about whether you should be with the ex, the new guy or neither one.
Maybe the confusion is about something else, your life outside what you presented. Could it be, something to do with family relationships, maybe, work… something else?
anita
April 4, 2018 at 8:51 pm #200887
KellyParticipantIt sounds like thing we’re pretty good between you and your ex because you are not over him. It didn’t seem like things ended bad between you guys. Maybe things might have changed with him. Have you talked with him? I would recommend talking to him if you haven’t and see how he feels about you. 5 years is a long time and I feel like your reason for breaking up was not a good one.
As you said it yourself the new guy was just a rebound. Trust me I’ve been in your shoes before if things were good with your ex talk to him.
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