Dear Heartbrokengurl:

It is difficult to change such patterns as the one you are re-experiencing yet again. There is definitely no way to get rid of such a pattern once and for all. Would have been nice if that was possible. It is true not only to your pattern in (beginning or otherwise) relationships, as you described in your recent post, but to many patterns of behavior, such as overeating and overspending and so  on.

Notice what is happening and best you can, disengage from the thoughts. The thoughts that kept you awake last night, those are like vehicles that carry around your fear through the highways of your brain. Disengaging from the thoughts is like disabling the vehicles in my imagery.

It is very, very.. very difficult to do. But practice and you it will get easier. Persist in the practice, don’t give up. When you find yourself thinking again the same old thoughts, notice and disengage. Again and again, and yet again.

I wonder if it will be helpful to you if you re-read your own threads. If you click on your name and get the threads you started in the past, you can read the same pattern as it applied to man after man. This may make it clearer to you how indeed this anxiety is not about this or that man, but about any man. You can also read how wonderful they all were (if I remember correctly) until they were no longer wonderful.

anita