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Reply To: Starting to realize sources of my social anxiety?

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryStarting to realize sources of my social anxiety?Reply To: Starting to realize sources of my social anxiety?

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Anonymous
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Dear Katie:

In previous threads you described yourself as shy: “I am a very closed off, reserved, antisocial human being. I am one of the shyest people I know…I still am super shy”. But to me you come across not shy at all, not in any of your threads. You come across to me as open (not closed off), expressive, extroverted (not reserved), very social (not antisocial) and daring (not shy).

You wrote: “I come off as having no personality, as somebody who has no brain, or somebody who is extremely awkward”- again, on your threads you come across to me as someone with lots of personality, lots of brain (although scattered on periphery as it may be), and not awkward at all.

The way you see yourself, I am thinking, is not the way you are. Why is that, I ask myself and look for answers.

February, you wrote: “I had a brief conversation with my mom… she was telling us stories of when we were young… a bunch of stuff about me at preschool…She told me that all the teachers thought something was wrong with me. They made my parents have me taken to see a therapist to find out what was wrong… but my mom said that each time they found nothing wrong with me and that I was simply a quiet kid”

I will address the “quiet kid” claim. You naturally believe what your mother says, children do not question what their parents say. But I question what your mother told you, that you were a quiet kid. I don’t have your story in front of me now, about how in preschool, I believe, on your birthday, you stepped on a chair and sang out loud, was that the story? This story fits better with how you come across on these threads.

For some reason, what your mother told you about who you were (and who you are) is simply not true.

And then, there is this issue: a mother telling her daughter that she and others thought there was something wrong with her.. but there isn’t really, that is so wrong of the mother to do, so damaging, irresponsible. She told you that when they found out each time they took you to therapy or to a professional, that there was nothing wrong with you, that you were only quiet. Why tell the story then? What is the purpose?

I will wait for your reply to the two items I brought up in this post.

anita