Dear Regi:

Thank you for your last paragraph.

Notice this: I wrote to you in my last post: “You are not at fault for blushing and for experiencing anxiety otherwise.” In response, you wrote: “fault may not be the right word. But still I feel like I only have myself to blame for this anxiety”.

See, my suggestion that you are not at fault didn’t help you, did it. Instead of the word fault you used blame. Still you are taking responsibility for what you are not responsible for.

But I am not surprised my suggestion to you did not change what you believe. I am not at all surprised. After all I didn’t change my beliefs because of other people’s suggestions.

Back to the issue of responsibility: you are responsible only for the choices you make. Blushing is not a choice you make, therefore you are not responsible for blushing. It is not your fault. You are not to blame for it.

Blaming yourself is being aggressive toward yourself and that only increases anxiety.

anita