Dear Happi:

I re-read your posts on this thread. Here is the problem as I understand it:

“when I needed him the most, he just turned his back… he didn’t even want to help me when I was depressed. This is what gave me palpitations, leading to numbness in left arm. I would cry a lot to myself.”

Understandably, you are afraid that he will turn his back on you again. He told you recently that “he is ready to do whatever“. Can you trust him to not turn his back on you based on this (italicized) statement?

For me, a statement is not enough to promise that past betrayal will not happen again.

Here is the further complication of your situation: “Either it’s an arranged marriage.. I can’t go out in search of love again… If I talk about another guy in future they’ll only think I long for a man (take it in a cheap sense).. my family has a very good name in society”-

Your choice then is between a future arranged marriage and this man. You don’t have the privilege of considering another man. Either him or a man arranged for you by your parents.

If you choose this man you are risking him turning his back on you again, as he did before. When he did, it affected you intensely, brought about lots of pain. You are afraid to feel that pain again. You are afraid and angry.

What to do?

Question: if you chose the arranged marriage option, is it possible for you to see to it that your parents cooperate with you, listen to your input regarding this or that man that they propose, so that it is a mutual choice for a husband, one that you like, one who hasn’t and is trustworthy to not turn his back on you?

anita