Dear Ganesha11:

You are welcome. In both your posts you read like a reasonable person, intelligent emotionally, not only intellectually. You did very well being assertive with this man (first post). My feeling is that it will be his loss to not pursue a committed, lovers relationship with you. He said the chemistry with you is great and reading your posts, it will benefit him a whole lot to be partners with a reasonable, intelligent,, honest and assertive woman.

Relationships aren’t perfect, of course and it does happen that they get better, even very good, unexpectedly. But I wouldn’t just hope for such a change, and you don’t seem to be willing to do that either. Waiting and hoping passively is a bad idea. If he was able and willing to be exclusive with you, then maybe there would be a good reason to… actively wait, that is, continue the honest communication, but not without exclusivity on his part.

You wrote: “He is a ‘let it go’ kind of guy which claims life’s unfortunate or negative circumstances have no ill effect on him whatsoever”- I wonder if you no longer being available to him, neither as a friend nor as a friend-and-lover, will have any ill effect on him.

* Dear Inky: you are welcome, a tasty hot dog reads delightful to me. I join you with wishing every person reading this a Happy Fourth of July.

anita