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need help please

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  • July 12, 2018 at 8:17 am #216347
    lucifer
    Participant

    hey Guys

    i was married to my ex wife for 14 years 90% of which where happy i have been on my own for about a year now after going out with a girl for 1 year

    i miss my ex I went on holiday with the last girl to somewhere i went with my ex and it brought back all the feelings i thought i had got rid of and pushed away

    i have tried to get in contact with my ex i sent flowers on valentines and a letter to her i checked she wasn’t seen someone before i did this i dont want step on someone toes that isn’t fair

    i have tried all i can to get her talk to me i waited outside her work and all she said was stay away from my house not from me the house , i need some help i would love get her back and spend time fixing what we both broken

    i have never cheated on her and i know she never cheated on me we grew apart and fell out of love i want so much to get her back i just dont know how to do it

    if i go near her she seems to be scared of me i wouldn’t hurt her ever im not like that

    the main reason we fell apart was money worries we had issues now that has gone i would like another chance with her and try fix what went wrong i know there is no quick fix for this and it will take time well i have time so any help would be appreciated

    im going no where and she has been on her own a while too

    the lady in question doesn’t know how special she was to me and what i would have done for her she meant the world to me but in the end we didn’t communicate to one another so it ended i tried get her back once before but i wasn’t ready and it ended badly i was so scared lose her i wasn’t me i was a mess now im stronger and better equipped to get her back

    sorry this is all over the place but i just put what i feel

    lucifer m

    July 12, 2018 at 9:58 am #216435
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear lucifer:

    You chose the name lucifer. You wrote that you were “a mess” that you tried to get her back but “it ended badly”, and you wrote “she seems to be scared of me”.

    Why “lucifer”, may I ask, what kind of a mess were you when you tried to get back with your wife (and before, perhaps), what is the bad way it ended, and why is it that she is afraid of you?

    anita

    July 16, 2018 at 6:44 am #216865
    lucifer
    Participant

    hi Anita

    the name isnt important really i am about to give up on trying to get my ex wife back i have tryed all the things i can thing of

    flowers on valentines a nice letter saying im sorry about how we broke up and a real heart felt apology to her

    we started off fine and a few years down the line we moved house and then the money problems started and so on and so on

    i started drinking and not being a nice person really i dont want go into detail with that

    i said things to my ex i regret now and wish i could take back but cant

    i approached her and she seemed scared to talk to me like she would have feelings again if u know what i mean ,

    she was and still is the light in my life i just wish i could get the chance to tell her this i was very scared of losing her when i first got her come home over 2 years ago i have stayed away from her and left her alone for some time now she dives past where i work for days now

    i really dont know what is going on in her head and i know she was made ill when we split up and ended she crashed her car and that was my fault so she said

    lucifer m

     

    July 16, 2018 at 8:16 am #216885
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear lucifer:

    There was a move to a different house, money problems you started drinking, you said things to her that you regret, she crashed her car and blamed you for it. This is all I know about your marriage of 14 years, that and that you had some good times and now have some good memories and a longing to be with her again.

    Thing is, “she said was stay away from my house”, she told you to stay away from her, correct? If so, got to respect that, no matter how much you miss her. You wrote, “I am about to give up on trying to get my ex wife back”- reads like a good plan to me.

    Sometimes relationship break and it is either impossible or way too difficult to bring it back to life. Better give up. After all, a divorce has taken place. It has been broken for a while.

    “need help please” is the title of your thread. Please tell me what is it that you need help with, specifically?

    anita

    July 17, 2018 at 2:39 am #217163
    lucifer
    Participant

    hi Anita

    yes give up is a thing i could do but why would my ex drive past where i work every day if she doesn’t want to see me its the long way round to where she works

    yes we had lots of good times and lots of memory’s together i would like another chance with her i did get her back to the point where we got back together but i wasn’t ready and i messed it up we slipped back into where we were before both drinking and both not being nice

    i have learned life is short and if you do meet your soul mate hold onto them and never let them go again

    i have read lots of advice collums and stuff saying do this change that i have changed myself i know for my ex i would live in a cardboard box in the middle of town with her if she just gave me one chance prove i have changed my life im not the person who left her

    she has issues before me her ex cheated on her but i wouldn’t cheat im not like that i loved her with all my heart and still do now to this day

    i would like her just tell me go away (leave her alone ) then i know she just said stay away from the house it was our house she is on about and i think it is because she feels safest there why she says this i have never repeat never raised my fist at her or gone to hurt her in any way shape or form

    i would lie to know how to go about trying to be friends and trying work for there its a long road i know and i have time (i am lucifer after all ) lol

    thanks

    craig

    July 17, 2018 at 2:49 am #217171
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear craig:

    You are welcome. She told you to stay away from the house she lives in, but she didn’t say to not have contact with her otherwise, correct? If so, why not ask her why she has been driving by your workplace every day recently?

    anita

    July 17, 2018 at 11:19 am #217305
    lucifer
    Participant

    hi anita

    no she didnt say not to contact her ever again she didnt say anything else ,

    she has driven past my work place for 2 years now and a friend says she sometimes slows down and looks for my car cause i move it about on the car park cause i get work at different times

    i wish i understood women i really do im sorry i know you are a woman xx

    all she has to say is please leave me alone and stop sending me letters but she doesnt that is the strange thing that means an end to it and no more ineraction again

    thanks

    craig

     

    July 17, 2018 at 12:58 pm #217325
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear craig:

    But did you ask her why she drives past your work place for two years by this point, slowing down, it seems, to see where you are parked? Her answer may be give you the information that you need. If she doesn’t answer-there is information in that. If she gives you an answer … that doesn’t answer the question, there is information in that too.

    Did you ask her, and if you did, how did she respond, what did she say?

    If you didn’t ask her, why not?

    anita

    July 17, 2018 at 11:41 pm #217373
    lucifer
    Participant

    hi Anita

    yes i asked her why she drove past where i worked on the day she said stay way from the house ,but she didnt asnswer the question she just looked at me and carried on talking about the house and staying away from it

    i think i know why she drives past the place of work and it just to see im still there its a mile out of her way she can go another way and it is quicker i know this cause i have tryed it myself also we have roadworks on the road where i work now and she does a different way for now im waiting for the road works to go see if she changes back again i think she will she is a creature of habbit as we all are

    thanks

    craig

    July 18, 2018 at 3:24 am #217395
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear craig:

    You figure then that she drives past your workplace out of habit and nothing else. Habit is powerful. This means then that she is not driving past your workplace because she is interested in resuming a relationship with you, doesn’t it. There is no indication otherwise that she is interested in resuming a relationship with you and it has been so for a while.

    I am thinking you better give up hope, not spending much time thinking hopeful thoughts but repeat to yourself this thought: this relationship is in the past. It is over and I can live with it being over. There is still love for me to experience, elsewhere.

    anita

    July 18, 2018 at 6:45 am #217457
    lucifer
    Participant

    hi Anita

    thank you for your advice i dont know what she is doing really

    she had a break down when we split up and she has changed isnt the same as before

    so i am not expecting anything anymore

    i wish we could sit down and have a talk because life is short and if you find your soul mate you shouldnt give if really

    i would give up if she told me black and white that there isnt a chance

    thanks

    craig

    July 18, 2018 at 7:45 am #217475
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear craig:

    You are welcome. If she changed and “isn’t the same as before”, maybe she is no longer your soulmate.

    anita

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