Would love some feedback on this situation. My partner and I met when we were teenagers and have been together nearly 20 years. We have a beautiful 5 year old daughter and I am 5 months pregnant with our next. Before we fell pregnant (which wasn’t planned) we had decided to travel together as a family for a while, the trigger for this was my partner started a new start up business and he needed to be able to visit people in different cities regularly to get the business off the ground, we decided so that we could all be together more that we should all travel as a family. We have had some nice times but also some tedious times (where we have ended up spending a lot of time in short term accommodation but in the one city, so it hasn’t really felt like travelling and exploring but more just like being unsettled). Since falling pregnant I have told my partner I really feel I need a home base at least for a period of time to get into life with a baby again, and to have a support network around (I have felt quite isolated, as we were only spending a small amount of time in our home town to be able to catch up with friends). I also feel like our daughter who will start school next year will also really benefit from having that stability now and being able to really nurture her friendships and interests (she was also sharing feelings about missing her friends a lot and missing our home town while we were travelling, and has typical childrens desires such as wanting to get a cat or have friends over for playdates). He wants us to keep travelling around and I feel like he has forgotten what it was like to have a baby, it would also mean I would need to homeschool our daughter on top of having a newborn and having no support around. I have told him I understand how much he still needs to travel for the business and that (as much as I would like us to spend most of our time together) I understand he will need to travel frequently to stay on track with the business goals and will support him doing this, and that at times when it is suitable for us all to travel together we can do that too.

He thinks that it’s more important for us to be together all of the time as a family, but I know it will be overwhelming for me and I fear it will rip our family apart, he thinks the opposite is true and that too much time away from each other would do that.

It has gotten to the point where we are both so upset by this that we are barely speaking to each other. Every time we try to have this conversation we only get a small way through before needing to stop before things get too heated. The problem is, now I am 5 months pregnant and the clock is ticking… I need to organise a rental property at least for my daughter and I and the baby and yet I feel like without him being in agreement with the decision to do so, it would be disrespectul of me to sign up for a property as it’s a big change.

I should add that this is all on top of some major underlying trust issues. I recently worked out he had been tracking my phone for location movements, being able to listen in through the microphone any time he chose and reading messages etc. As far as I know he has been doing this for at least a few months. I know he has no reason to mistrust me, but he has experienced some major let downs in his life from close family and business associated and I think this is part of his trust issues. But I fear that his real motivations for wanting us all to travel together all the time is more to do with the trust issues than really believing what is best.

Would really love to hear thoughts on this. Thanks 🙂