Dear Cali Chica:

This “numb heavy feeling” is probably the same feeling you experienced day in and day out being trapped with your mother and father, and it is that experience that disturbs your sleep as well. There were distractions in childhood and distractions in adulthood, but that feeling, that base feeling (you used the term base anxiety) has been there since childhood.

The generational trauma you mentioned, this is pretty much the human condition, I have learnt. Following the “Parisian way, sink and savor an espresso, baguette, cheese, wine, for hours on end”- eventually everyone goes back to that base childhood feeling.

Healing is the  only way I know to change that base feeling/ base anxiety beyond this or that distraction. Keep the faith in the process.

anita