Dear Lily:

You believe that if something bad happens (the guy got sick, for example), it must be that you made him sick. If he doesn’t call you back, it must be that you hurt his feelings. In other words, you are the cause of bad things happening. Your conclusion, in your very last paragraph is: “I will do better next time”.

As if you did badly and that is why the guy got sick and that is why he didn’t call you back.

What if he didn’t really get sick at all and lied to you about getting sick as a reason for not meeting you for another date?

What if you didn’t hurt him at all, and the reason he didn’t call you back is that he is busy elsewhere, another woman perhaps?

You see, other people have their own reasons, own motivations that are not about you making them sick or otherwise hurting them.

I hope to read more from you.

anita