Dear anita,

it is one of my biggest fear to hurt others. I feel that if I get hurt, I can handle it. But if I hurt someone else I feel really bad.

It hurts me, that he doesn’t even say that he doesn’t want to see me any more. Like I’m just some disgusting, worthless and crazy piece of sh**. I would like to send him a message, saying that I will respect him if he doesn’t want to see me any more, but that I would like to know what happened and if he is okay.

It’s possible that I didn’t even hurt him and that maybe he just wanted sex… What I found weird were his exaggerated compliments and that he said he loved me so quickly. Once he came to a date talking on his phone and keep talking for at least two more minutes. He also wanted to have unprotected sex (I refused). After we first had sex, he went on a weekend vacation with his cousins and then on Monday he said he had to work from about 8 in the morning until midnight (maybe that’s just a coincidence, but I don’t know).

When he last wrote me he said he was out with friends, so it seems that he doesn’t suffer that much, right?

I still worry a lot and try to find out if my behaviour towards him was in any way wrong. I didn’t say any mean things to him or hit him. But I wonder if I emotionally abused him in some way… I couldn’t enjoy sex itself that much, I went more along with what he wanted and maybe he noticed. Maybe I made him feel bad because about it. Maybe I should stop speculating.