Dear noname:

You are welcome to respond when you feel able and willing. Better not people-please me, I wouldn’t like that. So be true to yourself here, answer if you want to, when you want to. You can share with me how you truly feel anytime.

About the mental health industry being dysfunctional, of course it is. Every industry is dysfunctional. Humanity is dysfunctional. Dysfunction is bigger than the home where you grew up, bigger than that neighborhood. It is everywhere. It is nice when we find ourselves at times in this or that exceptional sanctuary where people are kind and fair and functional.

Expect the dysfunctional condition of humanity, don’t get surprised every time you notice it, and then depressed over it. Expect it, do your best in it, make it a tiny bit better, and you won’t be depressed over it.

Regarding sex and such, you wrote earlier that you don’t want sex based relationships, or hookups, is what they are called. You want a loving relationship. Problem in loving relationships is that you have to get to know a woman over time before getting emotionally too involved (so far you haven’t done that part, as far as I know), and you have to let her know you over time, slowly, gradually.

What happened so far, and correct me if I am wrong, is that you were quite impulsive and fast in this area of relationships with women, and you never really got out of your own way (the deep hurt of childhood, the great anger from childhood) so to allow a process of getting to know a woman and making yourself known to her.

anita