I had a relationship with him on and off for the last three years. We broke up and back together couple times. I and he also met someone else between one of the breakup gap for 8 months,  earlier this year we were back together for another half year. The last break up, I found that he was flirting with someone else who just met for 10 days, I was so angry and left him that time. He came back after 8 months and said we can do better this time. I was growing up and seeing my dad was cheated my mother when i was in high school, tbh, I’m the person who really doesn’t have confidence in myself and on the relationship much, especially nowadays and this generation. We both very happy together, however, I couldn’t feel 100% comfortable to get back with him since the cheating caused a scar between us, we have different work schedule i don’t see him often i started checked his phone and follow his direction on find my friends, I didn’t feel secure enough to trust him won’t do it again. I caught him lied to me because there were some personal issues of him he didn’t want me to be worried/involved. Then we argued and the red flag on, our relationship is started to fall apart because I felt like he’s hiding something from me, but he said he didn’t because he just doesn’t want me to be worry.

In his words, he feels exhausted by our relationship, feel like he always has to please me. He thinks I’m giving him too much pressure. My intention was never like that or do anything to hurt him. While we were arguing I said many things that I shouldn’t say, they were really bad content. I hurt him deeply and he hates me now. His parents don’t like me.

I’m very upset and lost. I don’t understand why he ran away. I don’t know what should I do.