Hi Bassy.

I have also dealt with panic attacks and with anxiety. I still have that cause it’s not something that goes away completely but now I am at a time where I feel pretty fine.

I will share with you some things about this, maybe it will help you too.

From my experience, talking to someone who trusts you, loves you and doesn’t judge you, really, really helps release a good part of the fear. Because fear has a lot more power on us when we keep it to ourselves.

Also, write your feelings down, write everything that you feel and however you want because no one else will read it, you’ll also get relief. I think that you felt at least a tiny bit better after your posted this here.

When I went to therapy, I also mentioned to my therapist about the fact that I always  have bad thoughts that bother me and she told me that I have to accept my thoughts and they will lessen. Because as much as you want to NOT think of something, as much you’ll actually think of it.

Regarding the irrational fears, think of the probability of that actually happening. Really, there’s no magic or things like these, in this life there is no possibility for you to become blind just because you think of that. In our minds, everything is possible but in REALITY just a part of everything is actually possible. So what I’m saying is that some of your fears might be somewhat rational but they have a veeeeery, very low chance of happening. Another thing is that other thoughts of yours might be completely irrational but it’s about what you think of them. You’re really afraid of your thoughts, I’ve been there. You fear the fear and that’s because of your ideas you hold ABOUT the fear. Sure, it’s incomfortable but that’s all. Thoughts are just thoughts, you have control of your own behavior and of your own beliefs, so work on your beliefs about fear and your thoughts. You will get relief, it’s omly temporary and nothing bad will happen.

Also, stop letting fear control you. As long as you fear the fear and your thoughts, you will not get better. So, for example, if you have an irrational thought like “A plane will crash on my house.” and you start to feel scared… start asking yourself “Wait a minute… what are actually the chances of this happening? When this happened or how many times this actually happened?”. Your thoughts are NOT reality.

Regarding past situations.. just make sense to them for yourself, accept that you didn’t know any better and that’s it.