Anita

i know there are people with very bad struggles and unimaginable pain out there and i have been telling myself and kept going. May be i make too much fuss about everything. But handling that issues growing up not talking to anyone was crazy. The first person i shared this with was my ex husband who was my friend. You know what he did, he called up my relatives and told them in most brutal manner this story with added spice. That is how wrong i had been on man i love. I told him on his face he can go to facebook and post if i can fight my way up where i am then i can fight him also. I wanted my fathers love i lost it growing up because i couldnt handle any person touch but o kept going and i met this guy and thought i got one, Believe me i am strong in that sense because i kept trying to find love i believe world is magical everything is so beautiful the trees the flowers the dance in every moment its amazing but i feel that is my mistake i live in dreamworld. With this i feel my strength is wearing off. I have been trying but reach a dead end thats because something about me not loving myself. When will that happen. i dont know. so this pain this time is unbearable to the core.