Me too, Jim. I’m a recovering perfectionist who spent tons of time and energy perfecting her way through life. Striving for excellence has helped me create amazing relationships, produce valuable work and cultivate a postive mindset.

However, the intention makes all the difference. When I push myself to work harder, I’ve made it a habit of asking myself, “Am I doing this task out of joy?” Notice if you’re enjoying the process of making something stellar, or if you’re feeling tense and anxious. I find that when I pay attention to my intention, it helps diminish that powerful need to perfect.

Our need for approval handicaps us. I’ve given my inner bully—the one that says I’m never good enough no matter what—too much power. At its core, our inner critic just wants to protect us from getting hurt and rejected. That was helpful when we were kids, when we didn’t yet know how to take life’s blows.

It’s never too late to take back your power, Jim. You can learn how to stop beating yourself up, treat yourself kindly and approve of yourself. That way, your happiness is in your hands, not outside circumstances. I’ve got a free email course that I think you’d like; check it out here.