Hello Anita,

To suggest to you that you separate from him and live alone in a calm home is taking away that role from you, and you will be alone. I don’t think you’d like either one, role gone or alone. What do you think?

Well, I’m already alone in this marriage, so there would be nothing different there.  The rest of what you say makes sense – about my peacekeeping role being gone – at least maybe on a subconscious level.  Or maybe I just like complaining.  Or maybe I am ready to be done with being in this role of peacemaker in our marriage and that is why I suggested to my husband we talk honestly about what we need from each other and our marriage today, going forward. I’d want him to understand that I have changed and am done not saying anything, keeping peace, etc.

Airene