I am in shock as this is an event which unfolded yesterday and ended this morning.

I have had my best friend in my life for just over a year. We instantly clicked and had an amazing chemistry and developed such trust for one another. He has been with me through challenges in my life and truly gave me his hand when I was down and needed someone there. No questions asked.

My other “ex best friend” I have known for roughly 8 years. We were like sisters for a period of 3 yrs. It wasn’t until last year that we drifted apart as a result of some huge differences in personalities and moral compass. Her group of friends I didn’t feel were ever a good influence on her, yet, I respected and loved her enough to tell her this and still hang out with her and some of those friends from time to time.

Outside of this small circle I have a vast diverse group of friends. Friends from different parts of the globe, friends of different races, religious preferences, sexual preferences etc..you name it. I have always found it to be so enriching to surround myself with different types of people and learn through them that there is so much to this world other than my points of view and my way of life. I simply love it and can’t get enough of it.

On Sunday, I made a group chat with those two closest friends plus two other friends. Both of which the other two are closer to her then me and both which I have never had problems with. Yesterday I showed them my guest list and that is when things got ugly. Apparently one of the guys I invited made one the other girls uncomfortable and I asked why. After knowing little of the details I said it was okay and that he would be dis-invited. That spiraled out of control and respecting the household came up along with “those type of people” would be given a one way ticket to hell aka via gun. Another comment made was “Don’t invite any blacks, X might hang them.” After the last comment was made I lost it. I told them that was not okay and that it made me very upset as in my guest list there were black people along with other non-white, Latino races.

One of the girls called me shortly after and wanted to clear things up and where they were coming from. Explaining on behalf of her friend (which is racist against blacks) how she would be uncomfortable etc. I told her how I felt and why and left it at that. Felt like the issue wasn’t resolved and still left feeling upset.

This morning my bests friends call me and I explained to him over and over again how that comment was very offensive to me and how not being considerate of how diverse my circle can be was very disrespectful and inconsiderate of them towards me. I could not get through to him and was told I needed to take it as a joke. I was told I was being “dumb” for choosing a whole race over my friends. I was told I was acting like Mother Theresa when I myself have been around them making jokes against that race and never said anything. Which is true, I wouldn’t ask them to stop but I would stand up and say that I liked all people equally regardless of race. I was basically made to feel like I had no valid reason to be upset and was blowing everything out of proportion. That hurt me and frustrated even more and we kept at it for a good hour. I finally said I had to go and hung up. It followed with a short text on his part cancelling 3 events him and I were to attend together, including that Halloween party. I told him that was fine and we could just end things right there, he agreed and we exchanged a few more words and said we were both done.

That really, really hurt me. I thought he would be more understanding towards my feelings and clearly was not the case. So there goes that friendship I truly cherished. For the other 3 girls I feel the same. That lines were crossed and I can’t see them the same again and that will also be the end of that.

Was I really being the “overly sensitive snowflake” and lost my best friend and a few others over a simple comment?  Or was I just being true to myself and what I stand for regardless if that meant loosing them?

I am conflicted and extremely hurt over this. It feels so surreal.