Hi Anita,

thank you for your insight and time to write to me. If i am honest, I find it very difficult to relate to even though there is a chance you might be very right. I just never talked about the split up, or lack of feelings for my other relationships.

I was very lonely and I had two 3 year relationships with guys I felt no attraction for, no fireworks, no chemistry.

I fear I am doing the same with this guy for some reason. Maybe I feel like I should have stopped at the first few dates, because I told myself I would never go with a guy again that I did not feel butterflies or the ‘in love’ feeling for.

But it was so much fun to be with him (genuine) and I grew onto him. The uneasy feeling of not having enough sparks follows me around. He clearly has it for me. I wish I could see it separate from his feelings, or my past feelings for other men. Separate it and treat it as something new like you both mentioned.

I  don’t see him as just a friend, it is something more. But we are on totally different levels, is this okay? Should I talk to him about this? Should I give it a deadline and see how I feel further down the line to avoid hurting ourselves? These questions pop up in my mind.

Thank you so much