Dear Ben:

Talking therapy is not helpful once you vented long enough and feel better. A person needs help beyond that. It really is difficult to find a good therapist.

Try best you can to focus on the here-and-now. Pay attention to what is happening where you are, at the present moment. Nothing is too small to be worthy of noticing. It is this practice of Mindfulness that will take you from the Waiting state of mind to the Living state of mind, that is, to being engaged in the here and now. Pay attention to the little choices you make throughout the day. As little as they may be, each choice build up your ability to make bigger choices.

There is a big difference indeed between imagining and living. Imagining happens quickly, in the speed of light. Living is slow, sometimes excruciatingly slow, but if you commit to mindfulness, you will find great satisfaction in the living option.

We live either way, whether we are passive or active, deciding or letting others decide for us, whether we wait or make things happen. It is a way better living if we act, decide, and make things happen.

Aim at making small things happen. Each small thing you make happen, leads to a bigger thing that you will make happen. If we imagine all at once, it is too overwhelming to start acting on it. But if you imagine making a small thing happen now, you will build the confidence and ability to make bigger things happen later.

anita