She did outline what we would do. Infact on her website I saw she sometimes used the techniques that my other therapist, the bad one, had used, which was reassuring to know it was just the wrong type of therapy for me. Thankfully she uses other ones as well. I have an appointment with another one tomorrow, but I feel sort of exhausted to talk. Even on Friday, I sat down in her room and didnt know what to say, I was waiting for questions, but gosh I was just lost.
When I left had a clearer head,and felt better in some way but in another Idk I felt very weird. Maybe because its expensive? I~ve made a commitment to change now, and maybe that change is scary. I’ve felt so similar the last 4 years feeling “better” feels unfamiliar and weird. The whole weekend ive been getting bitter at my boyfriend again, projecting and overthinking as usual. I convinced myself I would leave him today, but I know thats not going to either happen or make me feel better. I got to to work then all I told myself on the bus disappears. Its exhausting.
Indeed I felt clearer headed before the weekend but then its sort of become negative, anxiety is filling the void of not overthinking everything, and I dont know. I know a lot of it is still overthinking re my boyfriend. Why do I spend all day getting angry at things, especially him. Never my father? Or even getting angry at all? I suppose these are good questions but not useful. Maybe I should just turn this thought process off. But I dont know how to fill my life! What do happy people think about ?!
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 