Dear Nikkole:

We keep reliving our childhoods, no wonder, because our brains are formed during those Formative Years, our childhoods. My mother was very argumentative, stirring trouble a whole lot. I feared her, feared  the  next time, anxious throughout those formative years and  the decades that followed.

I used to have these ongoing arguments in my  head, people arguing  with me, telling me  I am wrong, making their points proving to me I am wrong..  and  I  in turn argued  against  those  voices  in my  head, sure was exhausting. I was tired most  of the  time, day and  night.

I beat  myself up a whole lot, those voices did  (the inner critic  it is called, or inner  bully in my case), a whole  lot  of beatings. Exhausting and  painful. There is no winning with that  inner bully, I was wrong  no matter what, if I chose X- I was wrong, if I chose Y- I was wrong.

It’s been a long and still  ongoing process of healing  for me, healing, learning, both. I hope to read more from you and would be  glad to reply every time you post,  if you want me to.

(I will soon be  away from the  computer for about sixteen hours)

anita