First of all, how incredibly brave of you to even admit these things happen to you. It’s the first step.

I’d say, step by step things can get better. It will be an ongoing process, but if you are both committed you can do it.

One thing I do hear form your writing is how much you are angry with yourself for how the relationship has evolved. You’re taking responsibility for what happened and are taking steps to heal … the next step is to forgive yourself (IMHO).

And … as is something I talk about a lot … try to make art around it? Even if you don’t share it with anyone. Writing, shooting some pictures or a video/vlog, might make you blow off some steam. I make comedy videos based on my sketch comedy characters and it’s helped me through a lot of healing!