Dear  Shelby:

I think your lack of relationships history is  relevant to your current struggle not because other people experience this kind of heartbreak earlier, and you experience it later, but because there is a reason why there hasn’t  been a relationship in more than ten years of your adulthood, from your late adolescence on, through all of your twenties. That reason or reasons are why you are so pessimistic now about your future.

Maybe it is a depression from before, being lonely and depressed for many years before meeting your ex boyfriend that was activated following the first and second breakup.

anita