Shelby,

Yeah we have spoken several times of these things, throughout our relationship and briefly recently but he is never able to give me a precise answer regarding timing – which on one hand I understand and on the other I need. He says ultimately a home, marriage and children is the aim of the game but in ‘good time’. He cannot specify what good time is. So we end up going into a ‘discussion’ as I then say well you are failing to compromise cause it’s all about your timing, what about my timing etc etc..

I know why I’m feeling more emotional, mother nature has reached me yet again! I’m in an awful lot of pain, hardly slept at all last night because of it, it is absolutely pouring where I am, I reversed into a lamppost this morning.. it couldn’t have gone any worse! But I am trying to just breathe through it!

How was your evening last night? How are you this morning?

Victoria – That’s very nice of the wife to invite you round for Christmas. Perhaps she isn’t fully clued up on the current circumstances around your relationship? I do agree with you though that it would cause more complications if you did go so it is probably best to give that a miss..

In regards to your ex, I know it may not seem like it to you but saying ‘it’s shit but I cant do anything about it’ is just a coping mechanism. It doesn’t mean he loves you any less, it doesn’t even mean he’s moving on, it just means he is trying to rationalise with himself and actually see the situation for what it is. It is shit, I love this woman, but there is nothing I can physically do at this moment to change her mind, she needs time on her own and I need to give her that! Trust me because those words have also come out of my mouth when my ex split up with me…

How many more years of uni do you have left? What is the plan for after? I understand you are going through some financial troubles at the moment – are there any friends you can rely on in times like these so you don’t have to turn to family?