Dear Ben:

Seeing that therapist twice is not enough and maybe you should see another therapist. Can you see another therapist for a few months, twice a week or so, or  three times a week for a couple of months to start?

What the therapist who you saw twice told you, that “emotions are a result  of  our thoughts” is partly true but not completely true: thoughts trigger emotions,  true. But it is also true that  emotions exist and  hitch on thoughts, like people hitching rides on a highway. So there is fear in your brain and  it  hitches a ride in this thought or that thought, each thought is like a vehicle in which the fear travels.

If you repeatedly have these anxiety symptoms when you see your girlfriend, but not when you are apart from her, it will  be okay to take a break from the relationship, until you get better, get the help you need and figure  things out.

So far I assumed there  is nothing wrong with the relationship, but am I correct? Do you have  any concerns about her or the relationship being harmful to you in any way, be it a subtle  way that  you  think shouldn’t  matter (but it does matter)?

One more  thing: what is the nature of your relationships with your parents, past  and present?

anita