Dear Jack:

You and I have a few  things in common, one of which is that  my  mother too bullied me (“She screams,  calls m e  an idiot… slapping me”), and she protected me from other bullies, getting very angry when someone  else bullied me. It was as if … she wanted to be the only bully in my life, no competition.

“I remember running away from her and screaming ‘dad!!’ and when  he came  home I just ran to him and hugged him  so  hard”- you were scared of her. Aren’t you still scared of her?

In your original post  you shared  about your ex girlfriend: “We made out.. she  was just lightly stroking  my hair.  Boom.  knock knock. Whose  there? CONFUSION!” – was the confusion about being treated gently, lovingly, like you were some times by your mother and then she turning  against  you viciously, as in how can these two behaviors go together, or what does it  mean if she  does both ?

anita