Kkasxo,

You WILL be okay. Yes, you are absolutely traumatised at the moment, but we both know, that doesn’t last forever. Just breathe. When you feel everything closing in on you, when you feel the pain of loss, say to yourself – I’m grieving and let it through you but in the back of your mind remember, this too shall pass. It’s just a little hook that used to keep me from the brink. I would be buckled by the pain and scared and I would just say in a small voice in my mind, I will survive and this won’t last forever. I felt it was enough to keep me from the darkest recesses of my mind.

In the worst of times, I called my sister but I don’t know if that option is available to you given the reconciliation had been mostly a secret for you, but call or text a friend you trust. Also, I’m doing nothing today, so I’m online anytime you need.

Im so sorry. I’m so sorry you feel so broken hearted and that his lies created so much insecurity in the relationship. I wish he had been better. You deserve better than what you received but we can’t control who we love.

Distraction is the key again. If it’s all too much to deal with in one go, take it in small bits. Then do something to distract, then go back to it again and so on. Maybe punch and punch and punch a bag in the gym?

Im sending all the warmth and support I can possibly muster into the universe for you. You deserve kindness now.

Michelle,

I don’t know how one goes about ‘knowing’ oneself or exploring that, but I’ll bring it up in therapy and hopefully move from there. Thank you again.

Not So Lost Star,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about our situations and offering such empathy and advice. It’s very kind of you.

I don’t want to mourn my ex forever, if we are not to be together I just want to be over it. But it’s hard to get to that point. It’s heartening to see you feel you have moved on. Can I ask…..when you went away by yourself, were you lonely, did you miss him or were you able to stop thinking about him and enjoy being by yourself?

S x