hi Molly i’ve said a bit about here below, I know it’s not about me but it came to me and I wonder if applicable to you..?

I also have poor childhood memory and idealization of it and of life. I often experience intense emotional experience when in vulnerable positions, for me it is linked I believe in the most part towards my father and his stern ideology for me and my life and if I step outside it I am not worthy of his love, or even will not receive it, and there is pain there because I am not loved on other levels/dimensions/parts of my personality.

I wonder if there is a similarity for you, even there as you say is pain, which is physical. This is the deepest parts of you and they are resurfacing for awakening.

Sorry which second paragraph?

B