I’m missing my ex a lot, but similar to periods I’ve had over the past couple of months, it’s fuzzy again in my head, I can’t remember being with him as such. I very much think this is a coping mechanism of grief and that it gives us reprieves from time to time to allow our stress system to settle a bit.

But look, I’m going with it. If I don’t feel like contacting him this week, then so be it. One day at a time!

I know how much you want to protect your family from pain. I can totally understand that. My therapist would usually say to me, are you trying to protect THEM from pain or yourself? He always tries to get me to explore different aspects of what I might had viewed as a straight forward idea.

Humans can recover from trauma. I know you will. I just know it. When you are 30 years old, I genuinely feel you will be looking back at this phase as if it were almost a dream and it didn’t happen to you. This too shall pass. That date will pass. Remember, it’s a date. It cannot hurt you. It is a day like the one before and the one after. What it will probably do is remind you of the trauma bringing up pain, that will need to be expressed at some point, be it now or 50 years time.

I completely understand the blame thing. I’m so mad at my ex that sometimes I want to meet him to berate for shattering my heart and my life. But there are always two people involved so I’ve been trying to look inward a lot more lately. Not that I’m discovering much, but I can’t figure out the outside world sometimes, including my ex, so I’ve nowt else to do so I’ve been doing a little introspection! I’m sceptical!