Dear C:

Clearly you feel strongly for her and felt this way for a long time.

The question in the title of your thread is: “Is It Worth Fighting For?”-

My answer is: no. In the bigger picture view of the situation, there has already been a war and it was between her and her mother. Her mother won the war, naturally and unfortunately for her daughter she is still winning the war. Your love interest’s life has been won by her mother. I used another word, owned. Her  life is owned by her mother. This has been so before you met her.

Seems to me that you are not looking at this big part of the picture: your love interest is owned by her mother. She is not available for a relationship. You have been waiting on and fighting for a person who is lost and there is nothing you can do about it. It is sad. But it is a reality for a lot of people, a whole lot, their lives not being really, their own.

Any man she meets through the dating apps, will not do any better than you did. I don’t see a way, unless, like I suggested to you, the man is capable and willing to finance her mother to her mother’s content. And content, she may then loosen the grip  on her daughter, a bit.

Maybe you should fight not for her, but for you, to release yourself from a no-win fight, a doomed fight. There is such a thing as a fight one cannot win.

anita