Hi Anita,

I understand feeling conflicted. I think everyone in the world feels that. It is easy to be torn between two possibilities, both which may seem like they have equal benefits. Know you are not alone in feeling that.

I am going to encourage you not to pursue this man. One of my favorite quotes that has helped me most in my relationships is “the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.” This man was non-committal to you and cheated on you which obviously upset you as you wanted more. This man did not respect what you wanted and did not love you in the way he needed.

From how I see it Anita, you need someone to give you the same love that you have been giving your self recently. I do not think this man will change his behavior. We’ve already seen that he seems more motivated by “impressing his friends” then by giving you what he wanted, some commitment.

You may love him and have a ton of feelings for this man, but I encourage you to be realistic, use your best judgement and not to be led by your emotions. Respect and listen to your emotions of course, but do not be led by them. Make your own path. Choose your own path.

With all of that said, and I am spectulating here, but I feel as though perhaps you want some physical attention or company? You’ve gotten to the point where you have loved yourself and perhaps you are lonely and looking for someone else in the world? Maybe there is someone else out there that can meet you for what you need?

Best,

M