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Anita,
We did have quite a lot of conflicts.. It could be small things, that apparently I asked something the wrong way or claimed something and he wouldn’t stop pushing me on it, to explain myself or basically making me feel like what I said was wrong or to make me admit that I didn’t know what I was talking about. It could also be from my side that he was constantly wanting to go out, I mean every Friday and Saturday, all-nighters, and also during some weekdays. I felt (rightfully so) neglected and after a while a bit burned out, so I would try and make him see my side of things to which he would just say I could go home earlier and he would come later. No compromise there.
Well, to me, silencing someone by not acknowledging their emotions or reactions to what they do, i.e ghosting and gaslighting them, are ways to create a narrative as well. Silencing someone’s feelings gives you power over a narrative. In this case it was basically me not having any rights to have feelings or emotions of anger or frustration or whatever negative since we were not an exclusive couple any longer. Even though we were still sleeping together, going out etc. Basically minimizing the time I invested in us. He’s a very, very manipulative person in this way, and it is actually quite likely that he doesn’t understand that he is some of the time. This behavior just kind of runs on autopilot.