Dear Suzanne:

You met this man sometime later in 2018. A week after meeting you he told you that he had a very long distance girlfriend. The two of you communicated for a while and he shared with you that the two of them had “some major issues in their relationship from the past one year”, that he felt afraid of voicing his opinions with her because she fought with him and at times verbally abused him. At one point he told you that he “had finally decided to end things with her” and the two of you started dating.

The two of you knew that she planned on visiting but he told you that “he was already over her and did not need to meet her in person”. But a few days before she arrived, your boyfriend told you that he “feels he did her wrong as she loved him” and was going to meet her in person after all, that she “deserved better than break up over a phone call”.

He told you that he wants a break from his relationship with you, not a breakup, and during this break he wants to “meet her and resolve his feelings”. He told you that he is “in a conflicted state of mind” and that he “might consider getting back together with her”.

My question to you: before the two of you started dating, he told you that he decided to end the relationship with her, but he didn’t end the relationship with her, did he?

I figure he didn’t end the relationship with her because after you were already dating, before her visit, he told you that she “deserved better than break up  over the phone”-  meaning he didn’t break up with her yet.

Doesn’t it mean that while dating  you he was still in phone/ online communication with her as his long distance girlfriend, that is he was having you as his girlfriend in person and her as his long distance girlfriend, at the same time?

* I will be away from the computer and back in about 14 hours. If you reply I will read and reply again when I am back.

anita