Hello everyone,

First of all, I really like this forum. Because I have been practicing mindfulness for a long time and found people could provide advice that’s really helpful in my case. So here we go:

I met this guy some weeks back. Originally I didn’t really put my mind into this particular person. However, texting had been really easy and we seemed to have something to talk about all the time.

We had a great first date and he was very attentive so we had another date soon after that, in which we became physical. We had great sex. He’s constantly on business trips. On top of that, he was also on multiple small personal trips. So he hasn’t been able to spend much time in town. After the second date, when he was on a business trip overseas, I woke up one day and had the urge to text “I miss you” to him. He didn’t respond like he always did. (He usually got back to me immediately) I sensed something weird and then texted him that if he was on the same page with me or if he was actually pursuing something different than mine, I would appreciate his honesty. He got back to me and said he liked me but it’s still early so he was feeling things out.

I didn’t mind the answer but told him that I would like to take things slow in that case or maybe have some time solely for myself. So I stopped texting him for three days. When I texted him again, I could feel he was happy to hear from me, he asked how things went and sent me some pics of his own. We started texting a lot again but later that day I told him I would become too emotionally invested too much based on the frequency we texted. So we slowed things down again.

He was in town for three days but he’s a quite active person. Besides work, he also has school and other activities he regularly does. I asked him if he would like to meet up again before his next trip (yeah he had to go on another trip soon). He said he might have to pack, but was open to meet up the next day.

We finally got together after 10 days apart. He reserved a very nice restaurant. We had a great time chatting. He asked me a lot of questions trying to know me more. We headed to a bar after dinner. He became very touchy-feely. We ended up kissing and making out in front of the bar where people even came out of the bar and teased us. That was really fun. He was attentive and treated me like a girlfriend.

We sat down and I initiated the convo of where we stood. (We agreed to talk about this after the second date). He was very open about it, saying he just started dating and hadn’t really felt the urge to settle down. He said he would like to go on more dates and eventually go into the next relationship wholeheartedly. I agreed with what he said because my last relationship was really toxic and I would like to know him more before settling down as well. I also said to him that he should be able to do whatever he wanted, but I woudn’t be avaible for him for long.

When we finished the drinks at the bar, it was already close to midnight. He had to catch the flight the next morning but had nothing packed yet. He asked me if I wanted to go home with him and help him pack. I jokingly said, “yeah, I will pack myself, too!”

So we went to his place. He showed me around the house and introduced me to one of his roommates. We cuddled and kissed and because he was too tired we didn’t actually have sex. I stayed pretty late so we agreed that I should go home so he would have enough time to rest and prepare for his trip. We lingered a little bit more, kissing and hugging until I finally got into uber. He texted me and asked me if I got home ok and said good night. We exchanged some texts the next day when he was on his way to the airport, saying happy valentines day to each other.

Everything was great until he finally got on the plane. He had wifi so could still receive my texts. However, his responses were really short and simple. He didn’t seem to want to chat with me. I figured he might be tired since he hadn’t got much rest given the on and off trips. So I left him be. (Our convo ended with my movie joke. He didn’t respond to that)

Two days passed, I didn’t text him at all after the movie joke. Today I woke up to his text. He replied my movie joke and said: “hi from ____ (the country he’s currently is in)”. I was still half asleep and later rushed to my workout session. When I finally got back to him it was already 4 hours later. I said “happy sunday from ____(city we live in). I didn’t ask him how he was doing or so because I just wanted to keep the text light and easy.

However, now I have been sitting here and he didn’t get back to me. My mind started wondering, asking myself “is it right?” “have we lost the vibe?” “should I keep asking him how he’s doing?’ and so forth.

We used to text each other a lot but now we barely text each other. Or I should say his texts have reduced a lot. I don’t know if he’s losing interest, or simply just because his mind wasn’t there. I have to say my texts have reduced a lot, too, because I have been busy with work and stuff. So I can’t really blame him.

I guess I just need a place to let myself out and clear my head. I have had a problem of not being patient enough. So I am also practicing my patience as well. Thank you for reading this and any suggestions will be great and helpful!