Michelle,

Ah i see what you mean now. Thank you for explaining. So I need to decide what it is I want first and then take things from there. I kind of understand now, forgive me for being a bit confused before. Sometimes I think I think too deeply about stuff and often end up in a rabbit hole of psychology!

I guess- it’s time to make that list. I have been putting it off I guess. Probably because I didn’t know what to put on it. Thanks for the kickstart!

All,

My interaction with my ex was totally fine. As per usual. Laughing a lot and watching the rugby and just being normal. In some ways it would just be better if it was a horrible experience and awkward and he was an ass. He walked me back to my car and we sat there for a little while where I started a deeper conversation. He’s taken a sabbatical from work for a couple of months, has spent some time with family in the Middle East and basically still doesn’t know where he’s going. Likes his own company but missed me somewhat, felt it was the more decent thing to do to not contact me and try to not cause more pain.

Nothing I didn’t know I guess. But all my feelings are still there. I’m tired now, so going to try and get some sleep, but we agreed to meet sometime soon again. He admits he’s wary and I am too. It was enough for this evening, I don’t know if I actually will see him again, but it could have gone a lot worse I guess. I’m still standing.