Hey Anita! I dont think his mum encouraged him because she seemed genuinely appalled by his behaviour. He always said she wanted a daughter to do ‘girl things’ with and i think she wanted a daughter-in-law so was a bit gutted he sabotaged things. In fact, she kept in contact with his ex-gfs long after they had split from him. I am not saying I MYSELF was the perfect person to be that d-i-l but she liked the concept of family & doing things together etc. I think she couldnt control him and i dont think he did what he did to please her, she never knew about things until i spoke to her to tell her what he’d done. He is super secretive in every way. His dad only ‘discovered’ air hostess by knocking on his door one Friday night – god knows how he introduced her to him given i was very much – in his dads eyes – his girlfriend and was there throughout the whole period of bereavment, organised the funeral… wake….. you name it. I even helped the dad swap all the details of banks over. In hindsight, i gave too much but i was just being me and trying to help in a time of need. Equally his mum organised all the finances so his dad and ‘Dan’ were at a loss.

How do i give my mind some rest / ‘accept’ this is how he is? i keep ruminating over it, im in disbelief yet i have known now since last April (and before) what he is. A cheat. Why cant i just shut the mental door in my mind and think ‘good luck to you’.

Why do i even care? In a way, i am kind of relieved he didnt get his perceived ‘happy ever after’ . it would be more hurtful if he’d have settled down and found my replacement to be his Miss Perfect (he probaby will i guess, eventually – his current gf is someone with a plan i.e. marriage by 30, kids by 32). As awful as it sounds, i kind of think “good luck” to his current gf who had ample warning about his behaviour. I never had anyone to actually ask about the depth of his deceit…  She has dismissed me and seems ‘smug’ with her ‘prize.’  His behaviour now cements actually that for me, it wasnt personal, he has never been faithful and to see him ‘browsing’ online making out he’s Mr Wonderful… i just am in shock there is no stopping his level of self-promotion and infidelity….

sorry for the rambling, this is quite carthartic x