Anita – love the way you put your last person – it really resonated. I actually really disliked ‘Dan’ when i first met him. I said to my mum he is the type to be a ‘player’.  I then started to get to know him and the ‘glimpses ‘ came out and i assumed i’d misread a book by  the cover etc and pre-judged him. I didnt read my own red flags.  I think from thereon its been a mental fight between what i know (logic) and what i feel (emotion) and hoping that there was more ‘good’ in him that there was.  I think back to a 6 yr r’ship i had – which was beautiful and naturally ended – and there was never this ‘internal fight’. it was simple. with ‘dan’ it felt like a tug of war but i had many flags alerted to me during the time i just didnt want to see. I wanted him to be the good character he could be as opposed to the bad one he was…

I like that anaology. I still feel though his childhood is somehow excusing the behaviour. I could even understand a one night stand more than a full – fledged emotional r’ship. That takes effort, if it was just the thrill of sex i could understand (not forgive) that more.  Just to build that romantic and emotional attachment with me, then with her, now with whoever – to not then ever ‘commit’ – mind boggling. Maybe i am looking through a tinted lense and he has a 6 month commitment level (after that, and little do you know…. he is on to the next ‘goal’ or triumph. hmm..