Dear Butterfly:

If he believed that you were safe, after being on the phone with you for a long, long time, it was reasonable of him to want to sleep, because he had things to do the next day and he wasn’t taking the pain away from you by being with you on the phone for all the time that he was, so why shouldn’t he sleep and be able to function the following day?

Like  I wrote, you should have had someone there in person. But there was nothing for him to do long distance.

If he is a decent man, if he plans to make a good life with you and has been working honestly toward that goal, forgive him. It is the two of you who made the choice to terminate and it is the two of you who made the choice that he will not fly and be with you  in person during the termination. So it is not that he made these choices alone.

It is not his fault  that you didn’t make the second choice whole heartedly, that deep  inside you expected him to do the opposite of what was decided.

Does it make sense to you, to forgive him and resume your plan to make a life together with him, (again, assuming he is a decent man with honest intentions and he is working on making it happen)?

anita