I see what you mean, anita. My mom does not care about strangers or animals. I feel bad for her.

She had to marry the first guy that ever said yes to her. No one asked her opinion and she never questioned why she did not get a vote.

I once asked her how she felt when she held me for the first time, she said she does not remember much and agreed it may not have been a significantly joyous reaction. I can’t hold this against her. She never had a choice.

She had a happy path in her head, her mother was happily married by which i mean my grandfather never beat or yelled at her and she never had to do anything on her own. This did not happen for my mom.

My father’s family hid his mental illness from my mom and she only found out after she had me. When she told her father, although he was in a very close by town he did not visit. This was the time when my dad was manic and my mom had never seen anything like that before.

My mom has complained that her parents never truly cared about her. And i think it is a pattern. They are all rearing children, not really raising them. No one cares about emotional needs. They are all doing what society expects them to do. Which is why despite me being independent and strong out in society my mom still needs to see me married. Otherwise she would have failed as a parent.