The getting to know each other starts after getting engaged, so some engagements break when the couple is absolutely not able to tolerate each other 🙂

Also, there may be variants of this. I am from the south of India – we are stereotyped as the rigid ones, and our customs somehow support that. But, in general you are expected to decide after the first meeting.

Part of me beliefs that there is nothing to life and our elders basically want us to get married so we have something to invest our time and energy in. I think love is a western concept, most hindu texts only speak of marriage and as if it were a duty/ phase one must go through before realizing that there is no joy in engaging with the world and going after material joy. I think i may have skipped a phase. I really only want to get married for love. Do you really think we are capable of loving a person or is it just a false notion that gives us meaningless hope?