Hey Griff – yeah ,I know, I remember all too well. All the sensible/logical things are great and they help the head but don’t take away the raw pain of dealing with loss, rejection. It just sucks for lack of a better word and there are no short cuts through the pain – but there is an end and it is does get better if you hang on to wanting a good future for yourself and cling to staying open to you can have it.

If I were to hazard my 2p worth, I’d guess it was bizarrely you guys finally getting ‘serious’ that ended things from her perspective. I’ve known many people say they want something and when offered it, then realise actually they don’t want it after all – which is why you guys trundled along fine until a crunch point of “is this really my forever” etc.  It has a way of focusing minds into either a resounding ‘yes’ or else into a ‘actually, I’m not really ready and now that I’m forced to think about it, you aren’t who I picture this with if I did want it’. Rightly or wrongly, it sadly doesn’t matter.

To use Kkasxo’s great quote – accepting reality is the biggest thing – she has for whatever daft/amazing/stupid/brilliant (you get the idea of different perspectives I hope…)  decided on a future without you in it. At least you have learned more about what you do want out of life now – which has great value by itself.  Trust me, in the long run – you will appreciate her honesty in leaving than in staying together in an eventually unhappy relationship. It just won’t feel that way for a while. Make the most of those friends around you, they are invaluable.

Hey Kkasxo – absolutely!!!  One of my old boss’s had a perfect expression for it – ” hope is not a strategy or a plan”.  So whilst absolutely, if you still love this ex guy then ofcourse you hope that maybe at some point you will end up back happy together on your own sofa in your own place being happy together. In the meantime though, you deal with reality and get yourself a home sorted. A flat/house share or your own place is not a “forever until you die” choice……very few such choices are……..but it takes out one high priority concern you need to tackle. Then it’s on to the next. And so on and so on. One thing at a time, based on the best we know at the time.

Seriously, most of the stuff I have done with my life so far I would never have imagined being capable or confident enough to do – but I am not special or amazing, it’s just being able to do one thing at a time, moving forwards with things that I know helps towards my overall goals.  And you are right, I’m just so happy now, life can be truly absolutely amazing as well as s**t – just stay open to that hope, if nothing else, and move forwards.