Hi Anita.

Sorry for the delay. I was having a chat with my Mum on the telephone 😉

Yes I agree that “The silent treatment is very quiet, you can’t hear it, but you can definitely feel it.” Maybe this is how his Dad reacted & he has learned to react in the same way. I don’t know why, but never really thought about this before. Maybe just because his Dad comes across as very chilled & layed back. I would say my partner is very similar personality to his Dad & he has learned the silent treatment to avoid conflict, discussion about things he doesn’t wish to talk about.

My Dad expressed his temper by completely blowing his top. Shouting, screaming in your face, very threatening, red face & sometimes physically violent. I left home at 17 years old, and spent a lot of time terrified he would hurt my Mum & middle brother. I was the only one that ever really stood up to him. I would tell him he was a bully & that his behavior was disgusting. He would fly off the handle very easily, even if someone said something that he disagreed with or didn’t like, or felt like things were out of his control. He would even say things to provoke, like he wanted an argument. I have been on the receiving end a few times as an adult when I have visited. But have made clear that I will not tolerate this behavior towards myself or other members of my family. He seems to listen when I stand up to him, but it can be extremely stressful & I have threatened to involve the police unless he can control himself. He is a lot calmer since he is older. I have had many sleepless nights worrying about my Mum after I have left.