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Reply To: Advice for the lost and weary

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#284875
Anonymous
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Dear gj:

You are welcome.

“I don’t think I should move for love”- to find and have a loving relationship is a long term goal. Many people in any and every country don’t have that, it is not specific to a country, culture, or economic status: love between adults is rare everywhere. Therefore, it makes no sense to arrive at any one location with the expectation that upon arrival, there is love there to be had.

Moving will make sense if it significantly increases your chances of finding and maintaining a love relationship with a man. Living with your mother and sibling in the same bedroom, in a home without love, in a place where arranged marriages is the practice (marriages arranged by unqualified people!), – these are circumstances that significantly limit your chances of being in a loving relationship.

Regarding your  looks, if I remember correctly, you are troubled by being too tall, correct? Well, there are countries where men are taller than where you are living, something to consider.

“I see well functioning people like my cousins that are like machines, they do not have love either yet they don’t struggle like I do”- they struggle in different ways, they suffer too, just not in the same exact ways you do. Humans cannot live contently as machines. We all need love. Think about the very successful people in the west, international movie stars, making millions of dollars, living in material luxury, without love, they struggle too, Robin Williams, for example, he struggled a lot, for a long time.

“Do you think people do all that because they know they are expected to? Would it still be love if you have to tell someone the way you have to be treated?”- if a person treats you in a loving way, then it is love regardless of you telling the person how to treat you or he/s he treating you lovingly without being told. If a person acts lovingly toward you following listening to you,  thinking and planning how to be loving in actions, that is even more loving than a person who effortlessly acts on love that is spontaneously felt.

“I have never done all that for anyone nor have I seen anyone do that”- we  don’t know something is possible until and unless we experience it. No way for you to experience it until and unless you take a leap of faith, believing it is possible and then making choices so to significantly increase your chances of experiencing love.

anita